Wednesday, April 9, 2014

its scary. not because I’ve been hurt alot in the past but because i know if i ever lost him it would hurt exponentially more than any time before.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


also trying to drink at least a gallon of water a day.

doing sgd again. its come that time of year again i suppose, where i would like to fit back into my pants. gonnna skip monday since that was yesterday and start on tues.

doing sgd again. its come that time of year again i suppose, where i would like to fit back into my pants. gonnna skip monday since that was yesterday and start on tues.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

i should stop saying i don’t have time to read

i should read more books and less of my twitter feed.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

it comes like a tsunami
a tidal wave to wreck the city in my heart
I’ve been building levees to let the failure wash back out
the shame leaves stains in me
more permanent than that of purple beets
pupils dialate and i can’t seem to meet
your gaze.

like centrifugal force and gravity keeps me falling hitting like glass ponds shattered by my presence i don’t know quite what to say
Monday, February 24, 2014


the worst part about depression that’s on again off again is that you can never tell if you’re making progress and actually feeling better or if you just had a couple of good days and the second something goes wrong you’ll be right back where you started.

(Source: severeproblems)

whatever you do,
never let my parents plan my funeral.
they’ll try to put me in box because that’s the way their narrow minds work.
i don’t want to be buried.
i don’t want my body rotting for centuries inside mahogany.
please no embalming fluid no formaldehyde.
put me on a boat set me on fire send me afloat let the air and sea take me back into their hearts as quickly as my body burns.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

i just don’t want you to start thinking i suck… i know you’re gonna start thinking i suck here soon… and there’s nothing i can do about it…

Monday, February 17, 2014

i hear we have oil buried beneath our nature reserves
that Americas just waiting for the other countries to run out first
and i hear that
the cure for cancer is in the pockets of the rich
and the nsa is watching our every little twitch
i hear soldiers are dying so
other countries will hear America roar
while the top one percent
beat their chests
i hear they give tests
to first graders to figure out who will be in prison in the next fifteen years
i hear kids growing up in ghettos joining gangs cuz they’re growing up to the echos of you’re never gonna amount to nothing cuz they’re futures were stolen from them by their own damn government i hear Thomas pain on refrain you first create thieves then punish em. i hear upper class white people believe everything they hear on the news and have trouble seeing the underdogs point of view even tho i know the difference between them is one hot meal and a good education i hear the buzz of the media in the background of every room i enter and social networking isn’t any better who needs brainwashing when you have the power of distraction go ahead steal from us noones paying attention.

i hear America is number one in only three categories its hard to believe with all the grand stories of America the great America the free well the same America has more citizens behind bars than any other country and every inmate or soldier or laborer or housewife is praying on their knees to angels they can’t see but somehow still believe in because they don’t believe their country will protect them even with all the defense money they spend because in the end maybe its their government they need protection from because the trickle down effect only leaves them crumbs and this whole thing sounds a lot like a serf who can’t leave the kingdom less like democracy and more like feudal system i hear this used to be the nation of the people i feel its about time for the sequel the people take it back
Saturday, February 15, 2014

my bfs brother killed himself on my birthday… last year before i ever met him…im not sure what this means?

i feel like there’s some significance to it tho…
this stuff always does mean something.

Friday, February 14, 2014 Thursday, February 13, 2014

i may be unemployed but i have more money in the bank than you’ve ever had in your pocket.

im not desperate for a job. i wont be settling for something i dont want to do just cuz its a job. im taking my time and achieving things my way.

Monday, February 10, 2014

i miss you like Alaska misses the sunset, and its hardly even been twelve hours.
i could crawl into your arms like a lost puppy. sleep in your heat. bathe in the scent of you, wrap it around me like dirty t shirt the one i won’t take off all day after you’ve worn it

Friday, January 31, 2014

it feels nice to forgive someone. i feel so large inside. so much bigger than anyone else. like i could fit all your reasons inside me. and mine too. like i can understand true empathy.